On the Road

I feel like I have to write a blog about this book as we only touched on the subject in relation to Allen Ginsberg “Howl”. This poem - I loved it; Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac’s writing style and techniques are different even though their stories are from the same era and exploring similar views. In their different ways and from different viewpoints, they in their own right telling the truth. This is reflected not only in the stories they share but in the language the use. They talk friends; their language as their stories are unapologetic. Just honest, at least to them. One thing I would say if you are to read “On the Road” is don’t read the introduction. Truthfully with “Howl” I read it without bias. It is unfortunate I read the intro to "On the Road" because as I read deeper into the book and identified with the characters, I realised what a mistake I made reading it. It frustrates me that I know the original manuscript started with “I first met Neal not long after my father died … I had just gotten over a serious illness that I won’t bother to talk about except that it really had something to do with my father’s death and my awful feeling that everything was dead.” rather than “I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. I had just gotten over a serious illness that I won’t bother to talk about except that it had something to do with the miserably weary split-up and my feeling that everything was dead” or that he edited out the details of Deans and Carlos homosexual relationship which he said “cemented their relationship”.

Somehow these lies hit hard. But why? The story maintains its ups and downs, it morals and meanings. Still it hurts me to think that while I read this book I see the genuineness of Kerouac’s story, exaggerated as most stories are, but is still truthful in the way he conveys the joyous excitement he felt during his adventures. So why hide his vulnerability at his father’s death? Why hide Carlos and Deans homosexual relationship? If I’m to believe that all or that everything else is real and honest for him at that time, then why lie? And knowing this lie hurts me, I now hope that what he tells is true but I can no longer believe it.

Is he too vulnerable to admit to his readers that grief destroyed him? Was he worried about dragging his family problems into the book?

Was he somehow ashamed or jealous of Dean's and Carlos' gay relationship? Or worried about what affect this truth would have on his friends? Was he protecting them? But then why bother changing the names.